The Illusion of Compassion

"Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God." (1 Corinthians 6:9-10)

'You're Dangerous and Cruel'

Holding some rather unpopular convictions about faith and sexuality and expressing them online can be pretty discouraging at times. That's because – and I'm sure this is fairly obvious to those who publish controversial content on a regular basis, but it's still quite new to me – I'm attracting criticism literally all the time. Which in and of itself is okay, I'd say even good, but I'm probably surprising no one when I say that some people don't mince their words. And I mean, at all. I'm talking about harsh, disparaging, abusive criticism – the kind that attacks not just my beliefs, but my character as well.

Among the many nasty things I've been called so far, there is a particular set of labels that I find especially hurtful, because they strike at the very heart of why I do what I do. It's when someone paints me as a dangerous and cruel person, and presents himself or herself as a kind and compassionate individual, who cares deeply about vulnerable gay people, especially teenagers, whereas I, a monster, try to convert them to a religion that will force them to repress who they really are, and make them lonely and miserable for the rest of their lives.

If that's true, if that's what I'm actually doing, then yes, I'm afraid the accusation is true: I am a monster. I am dangerous and cruel. Obviously. But is it that simple? That's what it looks like on the surface, I know, but is that all? Is it not possible that I, as a gay man myself, am not actively trying to maximise the amount of suffering in my own life and in the lives of others? Can we be open-minded enough to assume that and talk about it?

False Compassion

Let me start by saying that I genuinely understand the passion with which my critics oppose me and what I stand for. If I believed what they believe, I think I would be just as fierce in fighting against ideas like mine, and yes, even against people like me. But that's the point: belief matters. And it matters a lot.

So what I mean by "false compassion" is not something that's fake. I'm not calling it false because I think it's inauthentic or hypocritical. I'm convinced that the compassion in the hearts of those who disagree with me is real. They truly feel for those who experience same-sex attraction, they really empathise with their potential or actual suffering, and they genuinely want to alleviate as much of that suffering as they possibly can – according to their own system of beliefs and values, of course.

And naturally, if you think there is nothing wrong with homosexuality, then you are going to fight for the rights of gay people, you are going to encourage them to pursue what makes them happy, and you are going to celebrate them for not denying themselves but being true to who they are. After all, that's the most compassionate thing to do, isn't it?

The reason I'm calling this compassion false is because it's rooted in falsehood. More specifically, it's rooted in a heart that – whether out of ignorance or wilful blindness – either disregards or misinterprets God's word on homosexuality. That's the fundamental issue here. When it comes to conversations about faith and sexuality, that's what we should talk about. Emotions are important too, don't get me wrong, but they are secondary to this, no matter how strong they are.

You see, it all hinges on the Bible: the way we view and understand the Bible has a direct and decisive impact on what we regard as a compassionate response to gay people. If the Scriptures are nothing more than ancient, man-made writings from an intolerant and oppressive era, then yes, the acceptance of homosexuality is a genuine mark of compassion. However, if the Bible is the inspired, authoritative, timeless, and wholesome word of God, then the acceptance of homosexuality is anything but compassionate: it's cruel.

True Compassion

The truth is, the Bible is clear that unrepentant, practising homosexuals will not inherit the kingdom of God (1 Corinthians 6:9-10). We rarely say this out loud, but we all know what that means: they will go to hell.

Now tell me, if you happen to be an advocate of gay rights, celebrate homosexuality, and give hearty approval to those who are "true to themselves" by acting on their same-sex desires, is it really compassionate to encourage people down a path that leads to their everlasting, conscious torment? Isn't that the very definition of cruelty?

True compassion takes that into account. True compassion reckons with God and His word. True compassion acts according to what is true.

Now this doesn't mean that the compassion I'm talking about (i.e., biblical compassion) is hateful, harsh, or even insensitive. Whoever hates gay people, whoever speaks harshly to them, and whoever is insensitive to their struggles, is not in line with the teaching of Scripture. That is also a sin.

Biblical compassion is full of grace and love, but it never violates the truth of God's word. And that's good news. It means that grace and truth can coexist (John 1:14), and love and truth can coexist as well (Ephesians 4:15).

So the biblical response to gay people is far richer than just sharing the bad news that what they do (or at least what they're inclined to do) is sinful and deserves condemnation. It's also about sharing the good news that Christ was condemned in the place of sinners, that they may receive – as John Piper once put it – the greatest gift of the love of God, namely, God's gift of the beauty of God to satisfy their souls forever.

That's what gay people need. That's what all people need. That's true compassion. And it works. It really works. Change is possible. Not with man, but with God. And I'm not talking about heterosexuality. I'm talking about holiness:

"Such were some of you; but you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God." (1 Corinthians 6:11)

May the Lord, the compassionate and gracious God, perform such a wondrous work in the lives of more and more people in the gay community.